Today I learnt two things...

Today was the perfect day to start a blog. I learnt two things about my thoughts (or might be everyone's thoughts).

One...

Its been long since I wanted to write something about pain and betrayal. It had been lurking around somewhere but in the lovely life, that I have currently got used to living, it used to hide somewhere. And then in unwanted moments, it would flash itself and then continue to hide. So finally in my economics class, (heaven knows why i chose that class! maybe the two hour ordeal was similar to the discomfort of the feelings that had been hiding ;-)) I wrote a poem describing these feelings so that they would be out in the open. This is a poem which may not be very appealing to the reader's mind, but then again, that's the whole idea...

And all was lost in vain..

A tale well played in all's heart

Anytime, anywhere, it may start

But do take note of this my friend

It may not always have a pleasant end

Feels like a losing battle fought

When you see, what you've lost

And what was it that you gained?

But all was lost in vain

It begins like a lightning struck

Anywhere, anytime, sheer luck

And then continues, a courting dance

Seeing, meeting, at every chance

As days pass, the smiles grow

Together time, like a river flow

And when apart, only one thought

Within the nets of mind is caught

And now you wonder what you thought

When you see what you lost

But what was it that you gained?

And all was lost in vain

Soon after, the promises sweet

You suddenly make a giant leap

And you never really understood

When 'together', why alone you stood

And then you receive a small beep

'The promises we made, i cannot keep

Whatever we had was a great time

But i never considered you as mine'

Your world is shattered like post battle fought

When you face what you have lost

And you think about what you gained

When all was lost in vain

What you lose is an unbroken trust

Forever weakened like rot and rust

And a loss of belief in you

As you doubt everything you do

A hollow heart is what you get

And a doubting mind, forever set

A few sweet memories you do gain

But now they're all laced with pain

Its now it feels like a battle lost

When I see what I lost

And what I got is only pain

And all was lost in vain

After I wrote this poem, I didn't feel any different, but now as I reflect back on the day I had after writing it, I realize its been one of the best ever! The lurking thoughts were out and gone!! So next time there's something I cant get my mind off, I know what to do :-)

Two...

The human brain is an amazing thing! Whatever we do repeatedly, our brain used to it, gets used to the entire experience of being in that state. After a while, it runs on auto-pilot and it becomes a normal thing for us to react in a particular way.

So, *lawyer said,"and at her wedding, we'll arrive in couples. I'll come with my lass, *ABJ will come with *Ye...." and I interrupted,"no!! He'll be with me!" "But won't you be coming with *hornbill?" It was then that I realized that i had so gotten used to the joke of ABJ being my 'hubby' and that anything that didn't support that, would anger me, ANGER ME! It would make me jealous!! Oh my god! What had happened! I was getting used to joke like it was a reality!

It was then I decided to take a break. After-all, jokes are meant to be jokes, for fun. A small break would re-establish the 'jokeness' of the joke instead of making it a habit. And we all know, *ABJ is always gonna be around ;-)